Having completed a writing challenge, I immediately stopped writing! It was the same when I did a 90-day video challenge. Once I’d posted the 90th video… bam! Silence. Barely a tweet, just tumbleweed.
When someone shows a behaviour once it could be a one-off… twice… still could be a coincidence but three times… then it’s almost certainly a pattern.. a habit.
The more eagle eyed amongst you might have noticed there are only two examples above, but the pattern of ‘making a commitment, hitting the goal… then stopping’ is one that I’m familiar with in my own life. From fitness to business goals, and yet there are times when continuing on is helpful, especially in maintaining results you’ve already achieved.
Taking a bath!
My usual strategies for dealing with this pattern is to do things such as haranguing myself, offering treats (mainly to myself!), writing lists, working with others, not working with others, locking myself up in confined spaces until I surrender and get on with whatever I’m meant to be doing… or the most successful to date (and also the most stressful!) waiting until something absolutely has to be done, working like crazy then slumping in a heap in the corner!
So I’ve decided for the next while, when possible and as an experiment, I am going instead to do what I want. The thought of it slightly terrifies me. I had a bath in the middle of the day today for no reason other than I fancied it and I could… I should have been writing, making calls, printing manuals, emailing… all sorts of things.
And then suddenly, out of the blue, I had the urge to write again. Something I’ve been on bended knees cajoling myself to do since the end of the writing thing… weeping, wailing, begging, enticing myself with McVities, figs, coffee, anything… all to no avail.
And then, just when I planned to follow my indiscriminate mid day bath with a lounge around the garden, in the unexpected and very welcome March sunshine, the urge to write returned. it seems my unconscious has a sense of humour!
So instead of lounging around the garden, I’m writing… and I’m grateful for it! I’ve been pushing myself to write regularly, and even to commit to it publicly, as a way of trying to force myself to do it but my fingers just wouldn’t hit the keyboard. So now I can say instead that I really don’t know when I’ll write, and just in case I don’t… it’s been fun!! Your kind words and attention are very much appreciated.
That said, I’m hoping to (and soon!) but for now I’m moving on to printing out manuals for the upcoming NLP Practitioner that begins 7th April, having given myself this space it seems that I suddenly want to get those completed too.
What, if anything, has this to do with NLP? I’ve been asking myself the same question, so I’m glad you asked!! And as I reflect.. NLP involves noticing patterns and working with them. Experimenting with alternative ways of thinking and behaving when a pattern doesn’t serves us, and exploring ways of enhancing patterns when they do.
Going with the grain
Given i have a general preference for keeping options open, this more open approach might suit me and by experimenting with it I can at least check it out. If someone prefers a more procedural approach they’d most likely prefer a strategy that’s more structured than this. By understanding our own preferences and those of others, we can go with our natural grain, our natural way of being, making the most of ourselves and also being able to help others around us to do the same.
If you fancy learning NLP – and I do of course highly recommend you to it!! Or if you know someone else who is interested, get in touch. I’m happy to set up a time for a chat.. you can also reserve a place directly using this link.
The Practitioner training is an 8-day programme, delivered over 4 months, lunch is included each day of the training… not as an enticement you understand 🙂 we just like to make sure your well fed and watered! Alternatively you can join us for an introduction (and you still get lunch!) to find out whether you want to continue on to a full Practitioner training.
Why learn NLP? Well if nothing else it’s fun! You meet truly amazing people and if you lead, manage, coach, or train people… or interact with people in any way at all (including yourself!) it really is a godsend! And beyond that you might just discover how to do exactly what you want!