I have spent much of the day resolving problems with my email. Being unable to login to any of my accounts I have been feeling the kind of frustration these experiences seem to bring. I have felt my blood pressure rise and it has felt like it’s the issues with my email that’s been causing that.
And yet the truth is that what is happening with the technology can’t be causing my feelings and I’m confident about this for a couple of reasons:
- there are some people who simply wouldn’t bat an eyelid about it
- when my attention shifts my frustration disappears and my blood pressure miraculously drops back to normal
Nothing external needs to change for my internal feelings to completely transform. My email can still be down and yet when my thinking moves to a coaching session, a meeting, writing a blog, or anything else my email related problems momentarily disappear.
When I’m not thinking about it, it is as if it doesn’t exist. It is only when my thinking returns to ‘the email issue’ that my internal system very efficiently remembers to fire up ‘frustration’ again!
It can be strange to think that it is our own personal thinking (our internal processing) that determines our experience, rather than external circumstances but when we truly understand this, at a deep level, it is a game changer. Apart from anything else it can be difficult to maintain the same intensity of feelings when we realise we are actually the ones doing it – to ourselves.
When I remember that I don’t have to be thinking whatever it is I happen to be thinking (that in fact there are an infinite number of other thoughts I could be entertaining) then I usually experience a greater sense of freedom and possibility. It’s not that there is anything wrong with frustration or any other feeling I might have. Our feelings can be great signposts but it helps to see them as such, rather than imagining that in themselves they have any real significance.
Feelings constantly change, for instance, since starting this blog I have discovered not only is my email down but my website has taken a holiday too though strangely I’m now feeling amused rather frustrated. So what happened?
Well in writing this blog my focus moved and then it occurred to me to message a friend who responded that her cat was sitting on her lap purring. Knowing my history of ‘cat lady thinking’ as she does, she would guess my response to hearing this would probably be to relax a little and allow my thinking to settle. And that is exactly what happened and then I began to see a more humorous side to the day! And while it feels like the cat did it… that clearly cannot be the case!
So now after a day of IP addresses, usernames, updated passwords and blogs my email and web are back online. And while I enjoyed a brief ride on the roller-coaster of frustration, underneath it I could still feel the hum of well-being unperturbed by the ups and downs of everyday life!
The secret of performing at our best is to ride the roller-coaster of experience while being grounded in a sense of our own foundation of well-being. If you would like to find out more about high performance without the tears 🙂 join us for one of our upcoming NLP or other events https://lesleymcdonald.co.uk/training-events/
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